Article By: Brian Halsey ‡ Edited By: Leanne Ridgeway
Lifetime Shitlist. That’s right. Everybody has one, and everybody’s on one. Mine could go on forever, but I’ll sum it up with this:
To whatever higher celestial power thought it was a good idea to take Mr. Lahey from us… Fuck off.
‘Slow March’ is a refreshing fusion of 90’s hardcore, crust punk, and noise metal; spanning the soundscape of Discharge, Vision of Disorder, Helmet, and Motorhead. You can understand the lyrics, you can feel the grooves.
The album is loaded with riffs that are just a little too heavy to be considered punk, but a little too dirty to be considered metal. Lifetime Shitlist completely nails a mostly forgotten art in the realm of how to fuck shit up.
‘Slow March’ was recorded, mixed, and mastered by Noel Mueller for Grimoire Records. Ned Westrick (Vocals), ‘Metal Matt’ Crocco (Les Paulocaust), Corey Fleming (Guitar), Ryan Larkin (Bass), and Bryan Glaiser (Drums) wield a heavy sound, loaded with angry fists and sweet nostalgia.
“Death Rattle” and “Beach of Death” are both standout tracks that capture the overall vibe of the album.
‘Slow March’ will take you back to simpler times. When baggy jeans reigned supreme and dudes with dreadlocks weren’t labeled as culturally appropriating, they were just kicking ass. Just remember, before the pit was filled with self-righteous assholes jockeying for position to grab a selfie, it was filled with self-righteous assholes looking to knock you down, and then pick you back up for a high-five. Know the difference.
In only seven songs, Lifetime Shitlist stakes their claim as a menacing force. They’re the type of band to crack your skull open and tell you to go rub some dirt on it. ‘Slow March’ shows a deep understanding of everything great about their unique sub-genre of heavy music. They are catchy, intense, and leave you wanting more.
I think I’m still on my son’s Lifetime Shitlist for telling him he’s never gonna go to ‘Jurassic World.’ It’s not a real fucking place, there’s no need to lie to the kid.
Check out the band and decide who is on your list:
(Photos: Leanne, Maryland Doom Fest 2017)
